Wellness Program Critic Gifts

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

Unguided imagery

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

Final words on gravestones.

Mental health

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Peace. Love. Light

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"Gym for regular people" "No intimidating trainers!" "Lo-tech" "Less is more!" "Not plastic" "Fluffy and scented" "No mirrors" "Full service restaurant"

'You're suffering from a lack of profit-making opportunities within the NHS.'

Take a pill so you won't be one.

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

Card: Get Human Soon!

"Ready to head back?"

'Extreme acupuncture.'

No use being self-conscious

"I wanted crisps but this assessed my body mass index and gave me an apple ..."

'We believe it was at THIS point that the species became extinct.'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Toilet roll beauty tips.

“I’m not out of shape — I’m just not used to running so much.”

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

"It turns out I've been inhaling when I should be exhaling and exhaling when I should be inhaling."