Health Critic Gifts

"Ask your doctor if taking a pill to solve all your problems is right for you."

'Terrible mix-up at the hospital. They treated him with acupuncture.'

Cyclist on drugs.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"Shall I put the strawberry in now?"

I Got An 'A' In Clogged Arteries And If I Work Hard I Might Get A Stroke!

'Now that's more like it.'

Health Foods

An overweight lazy man chooses to exercise in a car at a gym.

'We believe it was at THIS point that the species became extinct.'

Sodacide.

"If not satisfied, write to us at 'Generic Drugs, Anywhere, USA."

"And this is the nurse Jenkins who will be advising you on diet and exercise."

"He's a new head of product development."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."