Health Critics Gifts

"And this is Nurse Frobisher who will be giving you guidance on your weight issues in a manner I can only describe as ironic!"

'I like this new alcohol labelling.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"At least I've got rid of 4kgs of ugly fat...!"

"Oh no, I'm trans fat!"

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

Republican Healthcare

Government looks for new targets over GPs pay

'You're suffering from a lack of profit-making opportunities within the NHS.'

Have you drugged your child today?

Surgical Self-Service

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Trump rally

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'