Healthcare Critics Gifts

'Let's begin your exam with a simple coordination test. Swipe your credit card.'

"For me, crime pays for what Medicare doesn't cover."

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

GP Recruitment Quota Lottery

'See . . . I'm perfectly healthy. God still wants me to live.'

'So NOW there's universal health care!'

Deposit Covid-19 data here

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

Republican Healthcare

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

Have you drugged your child today?

Surgical Self-Service

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'