Healthcare System Critics Gifts

"I'm taking you off medicinal marijuana and putting you on medicinal harder stuff."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Have you drugged your child today?

Surgical Self-Service

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

Republican Healthcare

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"