Healthcare System Skeptic Gifts

'Good. His wallet seems to be very full. Send him through to pre-op.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

'Doctors are all booked up. Nurse is busy. The best I can do is offer to type your symptoms into Google.'

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

"I'll let you in on a little secret -- every pill on these shelves is a placebo, and I have no formal training."

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

"Your insurance company decided the heart surgery isn't necessary, but they said they'd approve breast augmentation."

'I'm can't tell if this card from our insurance company is optimistic encouragement or a threat!'

'Sorry, our HMO doesn't approve treatments of 'owies'.'

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

"He may be dead but according to this survey his paperwork is WORLD CLASS!"

Obama-Health care reform

"Till Washington gets this healthcare issue figured out, Max here will be handling your procedure."

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

'House calls?...Dr. Latrobe doesn't even make phone calls!'

'I really should have paid more attention to the company's health care coverage options before I accepted a job here.'

'The Rich Get Richer - The Poor Get Poorer'

'He'll need some blood thinner immediately, but go grab me a sandwich first.'

Man robbed by medical center.

''Free prescription drugs'? — We don't even have doctors!'

Rx. Warning: May cause sudden loss of income.

"His blood work doesn’t look half as bad as his HMO."