Healthcare System Critic Gifts

"Till Washington gets this healthcare issue figured out, Max here will be handling your procedure."

'After reviewing how much your treatment is costing this hospital. I'm going to recommend assisted suicide.'

NHS spends ?989 million on management consulatants

"It's a frustrating case. He's worth $16 mil and we can't find anything wrong with him."

'He'll need some blood thinner immediately, but go grab me a sandwich first.'

Dick's New Heart

Pharm Drugs Inc: 'The placbo group is selected entirely on income - poor people can't afford designer drugs anyway.'

Obama-Health care reform

"Take two of these a day and if you're not feeling better soon... come back when your wallet is full."

"My body is rejecting your bill."

"This new drug has been proving to be very effective for my bottom line."

"Make an appointment for Mr. Rodgers for a follow-up billing."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Republican Healthcare

Surgical Self-Service

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

Have you drugged your child today?

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'