Healthcare System Critics Pillows

"I'm taking you off medicinal marijuana and putting you on medicinal harder stuff."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

Republican Healthcare

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

Surgical Self-Service

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

Have you drugged your child today?

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'