Health Industry Critic Gifts

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

"We're figuring out how to bottle yoga and overcharge for it."

"I say we should promote bad eating habits. That should create a demand for our stuff."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'Rising health costs are the biggest drain on the economy, so I'll be laying off some of my patients.'

'You may have an adverse reaction when I administer this. It's your medical bill.'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

Republican Healthcare

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

Have you drugged your child today?

Trump rally

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

Surgical Self-Service

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

'You're suffering from a lack of profit-making opportunities within the NHS.'

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

'Hmmm ... no health insurance. Take him to the Intensive I Don't Care Unit.'