Nutrition Critic Gifts

'Remember when we went to the movies to escape?'

"The only problem with these free meals is that we're getting too many carbohydrates!"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Diet considerations.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

Heart Disease Menu

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."