Nutrition Cynic Gifts

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Diet considerations.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Heart Disease Menu

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"I think you might be overdoing the omega-3 oils George."

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

Friendly bacteria

"Well, then - two apples a day."

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

Artificial Isle