Nutrition Critiques Gifts

The Problem with Government Issued Curriculum

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

But is it organic?

Raw food, after you leave for work.

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Too much sugar."

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Bad for you but to die for

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Studies show foods work miracles!

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"