Nutrition Nay-sayer Gifts

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

Complex Carbs

"Management would like you to keep in mind that the latest research indicates that everything on our 'Healthy Menu' is now unhealthy."

"Oh, I do a little grass on occasion, but I avoid the heavy cruciferous greens."

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

Energy Drinks

'Do you want flies with that?'

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

'The pilgrim kids had corn pudding. We have pumpkin pie. I guess parents have always tried to pass vegetables off as dessert.'

'The start of the Premiership and the return of Match of the Day - there goes his Aitkins diet....'

'I'm trying a beer diet: lager for breakfast, bock for lunch, and IPA for dinner. So far, I'm losing 2 days per week.'

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

Lady in supermarket dilema between good food or bad.

'I'm not eating it, not if it's been genetically modified.'

"I work out so I don't have to eat kale."

"Hunter, gatherer, we don't really care, as long as it's healthy."

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

"This paleo diet is a lot of work. Maybe we should eat grains."

'I like the property - but I'm rather worried about the sugar content.'

'This is from our diet menu. We replaced the starchy bun with two deep fried fish filets!'

'These pills are out BEST sellers. I guarantee you'll lose 50 pounds as soon as you pay me.'