Nutrition Debunker Gifts

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

Complex Carbs

"Management would like you to keep in mind that the latest research indicates that everything on our 'Healthy Menu' is now unhealthy."

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.

'I'm not really hungry but I keep eating tons of fish because I need the Omega 3 fish oil to help lower my triglycerides.'

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

'Do you want flies with that?'

Energy Drinks

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

'Never trust a sommelier with a 750ml tastevin.'

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

'Finish your ice cream, young man, or no salad.'

Obese guy looking a shelf labelled 'Free Fat Food'.

'I like the property - but I'm rather worried about the sugar content.'

"More wine?"

'These pills are out BEST sellers. I guarantee you'll lose 50 pounds as soon as you pay me.'

The Problem

Why we always fail.