Nutrition Mythbuster Gifts

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

All Natural Nothing

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Here's to wellness—women's wellness!"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

'Diet considerations.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

For every Covid-19 death there are 2.5 deaths resulting from dietary risks.

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."