Nutrition Debunker Pillows

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

Complex Carbs

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"Management would like you to keep in mind that the latest research indicates that everything on our 'Healthy Menu' is now unhealthy."

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.

'Do you want flies with that?'

"We used to think sugar and spice were all things nice - until that was proved to be a lie put out by global food manufacturers."

'I'm not really hungry but I keep eating tons of fish because I need the Omega 3 fish oil to help lower my triglycerides.'

'Another upsetting discovery from the world of nutrition: New studies indicate that the air itself is fattening...'

Energy Drinks

Studies show some foods work miracles/study says studies are a crock.

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

"My doctor said I needed to go on a diet. . . Yes, to a new doctor!"

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

'Never trust a sommelier with a 750ml tastevin.'

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

'Finish your ice cream, young man, or no salad.'

'These pills are out BEST sellers. I guarantee you'll lose 50 pounds as soon as you pay me.'

Obese guy looking a shelf labelled 'Free Fat Food'.

'I like the property - but I'm rather worried about the sugar content.'

The Problem

Why we always fail.

Dramatic readings of food labels.