Diet Debate Debunker Pillows

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your willpower is?'

Complex Carbs

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

"That's it - your diet starts tomorrow"

"I eat a totally plant-based diet and I still can't lose weight."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"

Lite Beer.

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.

"It has a cream base because we hate you."

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'