Nutrition Philosopher Gifts

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Are you SURE they're a good source of potassium?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

The Politics of Food.

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'