Dietary Philosopher Gifts

Ed argued that although meat was murder, eating fish was culpable homicide.

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Carpe pizza"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Avocado Timeline

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."