Weight Management Aficionado Gifts

'In local business news, declines led gainers at E-Z weight loss centres.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Fat man on scales.

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"

'I can't see my nuts anymore.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

'You've made wonderful progress,Miss Pritchard.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

No, you don't need to be "gluten-free." I said "glutton-free"!

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

"Well we COULD tell people to eat less and exercise more, but where's the money in that?"

"This cat has got to go on a diet...he weighs 78 pounds!"

Genie.

Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

Before and After diet photos.

'Darling - look! I've dropped a gene size already.'

"The diet seems to be working."

'In a word, you have too much consumer confidence.'

"Um, when I said you should allow yourself a cheat day, I was referring to your diet."

Museum. The Universe. "Light-years"? Boy, they have low-calorie everything these days!

'I always watch what I eat - right up until it disappears into my mouth.'