Weeds Wrangler Gifts

'You're quite right I could get lost in my garden, but you're not married!'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Distance to avoid contagion

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'First weeds of spring.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Fish don't like worms.

Getting Rid of the Cure

Dissectum Paniculata

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

'Did you want me, boss?'

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Fish Feeding Frenzy

Leaf blowers at dawn.

'He kept saying, I'm sick of weeds. I'm sick of weeds until he got sick of weeds.'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 1

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

"Fred's a man for all seasons. The lawn still needs mowing but he's set for leaf blowing."

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

Woman in hospital: Pick up a leaflet, Pick up a bug.

'Hey buddy, it's supposed to be stand-UP comedy.'

"I realize you want the leaves to finally fall, but I doubt shaking the tree is going to work."

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

Leaf rake - wider than space

"If we don't find a place to charge these batteries we ain't gettin' this herd of tumbleweed to Kansas City by sundown."

"I was trying to grow roses, but I got hit by the 'bluebonnet' plague."

Menace.