Hedge Wrangler Gifts

'Our name is Leylandii and we're the neighbours from Hell!'

New Guy.

Distance to avoid contagion

High Riders of the Old West

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 1

"Fred's a man for all seasons. The lawn still needs mowing but he's set for leaf blowing."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

Woman in hospital: Pick up a leaflet, Pick up a bug.

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

That's it...It's official. It's now an art installation!

"That reminds me, we must sort out your will."

Christo's greatest challenge.

'Ever wish we were back on Wall Street?'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'I wish you'd learn to put the lid on your petri dish, Harry! We came hear with four kids, and now it looks like we've got 20 million!'

'Old Doc gets tired after a hundred head or so, and we try to help him out.'

Before baseball, raccooning enjoyed a brief stint as the national pastime.

Claw machine vaccine.

As Farmer Ron wondered where his cows had gone, somebody started the truck.

"Looks like we'll be walking today. The horses are staging a sit in."

'Tranquilizing gun, hell! This is a thirty-caliber Springfield!'

'Farming over a toxic waste dump does cut herbicide and pesticide uses and costs.'