Weed Wacker Warrior Gifts

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Cat in a tank...

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"Would it kill you to compost?"

"Come and get it!"

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

When cockroaches go unchecked.

"Must get a longer cable."

'First weeds of spring.'

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

The household cavalry

'Filthy Earthlings got here before us!'

Emotional Support Pest

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 9

The Ladies of Kew encouraged everybody to recycle.

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"Can't wait to see the look on his face when we put these back on the tree."

Getting Rid of the Cure

'What's the difference? It was a man-made lake in the first place.'

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

We need an eco project that actually changes things. Ha! Good luck. Eco-club. Hey! We cut the school's use of plastic bottles 50% from last fall. Ahem. This year I feel 50% guiltier.

Recycle or ruin the planet?

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

NYC Department of Sanitation

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."