Weed Warriors Gifts

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

"Wherever you look, there's medical marijuana, but not a word about veterinary marijuana."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'I fought the lawn and the lawn won.'

'First weeds of spring.'

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'The highest court in the land.'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

Getting Rid of the Cure

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

"I will avenge you, Father."

"I'm addicted to water."

"hmm. Mother Nature's definitely trying to tell us something here."

When the water's colder than you thought...

Earth Reset Button.

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

'Looks like the deer are moving out of these woods.'

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

'He kept saying, I'm sick of weeds. I'm sick of weeds until he got sick of weeds.'

'Before you attack, may I ask you to ensure that my twelve defenceless, soon to be starving kids, get my will?'

The Last Flower

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

Global warming.

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

"I was trying to grow roses, but I got hit by the 'bluebonnet' plague."

'Dad, there's a whaler under my bed!'