Weed Conqueror Gifts

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'First weeds of spring.'

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'The highest court in the land.'

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

'Whenever he stares out the window like that I know he's about to go into a gardening frenzy.'

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Cannabis Dispensary: Walk-ins awkwardly trying to look nonchalant welcome!

"These fish quotas are getting ridiculous."

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

"Say, Bill, how's that new crop of yours doing?"

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

"I was trying to grow roses, but I got hit by the 'bluebonnet' plague."

"Each time someone enters this house, they'll be doused in antibacterial soap. It's just during the flu season."

"Woohoo, we have have overcome the wave!"

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

'Great putt. Lucky I hit the pin.'

It was a short-cut through the hospital kitchens that Albert was first approached by a member of the antibiotic resistance.

Tough germ.

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

'Outta my way, you little puke!'

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

'It has had phenomenal growth and, for those involved, an atmosphere crawling with excitement. Congratulations, Hawkins, for heading our Bed Bug division.'

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

The joy of killing a mosquito followed by the despair of realizing it already bit you.

"You've got to help me, Tom... my garden is out of control!"

'You're being promoted to vice prez of personal energy management! You'll be the guy who goes out for coffee and donuts!'