Crop Conqueror Gifts

Agricultural Businessman.

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

Scarecrows guarding a field

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

Why am I running?

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

National corporate ladder of success monument.

'He works in Acquisitions.'

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

'Sure, beekeepers bees' pollinate billions of dollars worth of crops every year, but what's their firepower?'

"No man's going to stop me from getting to the top!"

'Buzz Off! I'm busy!'

'I've had tight deadlines, if that's what you mean by performing well under pressure.'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

CEO's office in a safe.

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

'The question before us is: 'do we pounce on Acme industries and gobble them up and savage them, or do we roll over like a bunch of spineless pussycats and let Acme take us over?'

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

'I'm too big for 'Goodnight Moon,' Daddy. Tell the story about that business deal where you crushed the little guys.'

"I've finally learned not to measure my worth by how many employees I have."

Art Theft

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

'I've learned one thing in my years of experience in the business world -- never see a lawyer without seeing a lawyer first.'

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

A mutant, possibly evil, ear of corn.

"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."

'The infrared reading is negative: It's only a scarecrow... Let's go...'