Lawn Conqueror Gifts

'I don't care how dirty they get on tv.'

Wow... The Performance Enhancing Drug For The Rest Of Us...

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

Beginning Yarder.

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

'He misses his garden when he's on holiday'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Must get a longer cable."

'That last hill was a bit steep!'

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Al's Lawn Care Service: There's no crabgrass too crabby for us!'

'So you've finally got round to mowing the garden.'

'I'd like a few words with you Farnsworth. Aren't those my shoes you're wearing?'

Robotic man mowing the lawn

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

"I've found the lawnmower!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

'You know it's too hot to use the sprinkler when the spray turns to steam.'

"Who's a good boy?!!"

"I can't go on. All the weeding, mowing, digging, pesticides, and gopher holes really hurts you know. It's just not worth it anymore."

"It doesn't mean you, Hickford!"

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

"Humans grow it everywhere and spend lots of time mowing it short, then, they don't even eat it..."

Golf Myths - The Perfect Game.

'Great putt. Lucky I hit the pin.'

Desert Island in the midst of a lawn dotted with 'Keep of the Grass' signs.

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

Ted tests the limits of his new mulching mower.

Wife taking a photo of her husband and their shoveled walk-way

'The pro said my swing was out of this world.'

Seasonal Migration of the Mowers