Carp Conqueror Gifts

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Just call me Picasso!

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

Painter's Duel.

A Learning Curve.

"Stop staring"

'I'd like a few words with you Farnsworth. Aren't those my shoes you're wearing?'

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

'My right brain isn't working.'

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

"Ok, let's sneak up on Mr. Canvas and see if we can make a good impression."

Artist paints UNDO icon onto canvas.

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

Mountain climber error.

'The mARTyr'

'Unfortunately, he's very productive in paintings, not money.'

Big City Bank Loan manager

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

"We have a problem. It's called the competition."

Abstract painter

Cricket.

"I'm a rock-climber - I know how challenging a craggy face can be."

Speleologist

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

"My art is bigger than life."

"You claim you're not cheating on your diet, Mr. Parker. But how do you explain this recent weight gain?"

"Ahhh, there's nothing like the fifteenth cup of the day."

'Well, once it's won the prize for Biggest Marrow I shall expect you to replace my fence!'