Cord Conqueror Gifts

'If you don't fix this cord, I'll do it myself. Don't say you weren't warned.'

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

A man playing a video game called Anaconda Attack is wrapped up in game console cord.

"All my wires and cords have banded together to stop me from going wireless!"

'My feet are killing me.'

Rage.

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

Just call me Picasso!

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

The trim reaper

"I love fast break business success."

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Must get a longer cable."

Yoga To-Do

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

For sale - Used only Once.

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

Painter's Duel.

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

A Learning Curve.

"Stop staring"

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"...and how do you feel about being labelled the new Great British hope?"

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'