Cable Conqueror Gifts

"Must get a longer cable."

'We can't rearrange the furniture...I'll never get this mess hooked up again!'

Telephone companies fighting on a 'Fiber optic' cable

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

Rage.

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Second lifeReal life.

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

Why am I running?

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

"He said his screen is frozen again."

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

Crop duster wanted.

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

'No good deed goes unpunished around here.'

National corporate ladder of success monument.

"How was your day?"

'I sent an employee to a motivational seminar once. He came back and took my job.'

"Somehow I thought they'd be a bit SCARIER."

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

Access Denied!

'He works in Acquisitions.'

"I see myself rising through the ranks of the organization until midlife, when I will most likely hit a wall and go screaming through the door."

"No man's going to stop me from getting to the top!"