Channel Conqueror Gifts

Matthew Webb

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Second lifeReal life.

Just call me Picasso!

The Devil's in the detail!

"Must get a longer cable."

Yoga To-Do

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

Crop duster wanted.

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"Stop staring"

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

Access Denied!

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

Painter's Duel.

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'

"These fish quotas are getting ridiculous."

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

Cleaner being carried away on a magic carpet.

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

'My right brain isn't working.'

'Now that everybody can talk, I keep worrying about what people will say.'