Console Conqueror Gifts

'And you honey, how was your day at the PlayStation?'

'I'm not sure I like Billy playing video games so much!'

'Mum told me to play outside.'

Second lifeReal life.

"I used you printer to print out a list of things I want for Christmas."

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

At Times the Term "Joystick" Was a Misnomer.

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

My brother likes computer games.

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

Giant Remote Control.

Do I have to tell Laurel that I played video games with Darlene? Yes. In your eyes, playing video games is sacred. You have compromised your relationship with Laurel by playing with another woman. The truth is hard. But it's the only way. What if it was just physical? I never emotionally connected to the console! Weirdo.

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

Video Gamer

Billy strip: Billy prefers video games to girls.

I'm going to sports camp this summer. Same. Tap tap tap. My parents think it'll help me make varsity. That'll get me into college. Same. Tap tap tap tap tap. Got him! Nice move. Too bad we can't letter in video games.

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Park? I'm stuck. Dr. Noodle. I'm paralyzed. I'm not making any progress. Honestly, I'm lost in the trees. I've lost sight of my goals. My health units are low. Units? Unseen enemies are everywhere. I can't sleep. I'm not eating. You're not making sense. Who am I kidding? You're right. The truth? Fine, I admit it. I can't get past level 5!!! I don't do video game counseling. If my mom loved me more, I'd be able to find more ammo.

Rage.

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Must get a longer cable."

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'We had to get him a seeing-eye dog.'

"Stop! Information overload. I need to rebuffer."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

Game Addiction

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

Delighted worker being propelled through the air on the back of the scale coming right off the chart