Remote-control Conqueror Gifts

Rage.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

Second lifeReal life.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

"Must get a longer cable."

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

Crop duster wanted.

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"I reached Level Three of Super Mario Brothers!"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'? We're at the cinema!'

Computer Gamers.

In Case of An Irresistable Urge to Break Something

'There's nothing worth watching on TV, but he's not going to let a little thing like that stop him.'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"She died doing what she loved."

"Yes! I defeated the invading forces! I am master and commander... I am a warlord!"

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

'Presently, Reinhart, I possess a controlling interest in comfy chair and the remote.'

"Stop surfing so fast, you'll fall off the board."

TV Time

"Why am I flicking channels? Every channel's the sloth channel."

'I don't like to be critical, but that's only because you don't take criticism well.'

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

'I'm not sure I like Billy playing video games so much!'

'Well, that's the gardening done - until the perishing things spring up again!'

Law Judge playing video game called 'Call of Jury Duty II'.

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."