Claw Conqueror Gifts

"I should've known if we told him we were going to have him declawed he'd go out with a bang."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

'I'd like a few words with you Farnsworth. Aren't those my shoes you're wearing?'

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

Mountain climber error.

Cricket.

Speleologist

"I'm a rock-climber - I know how challenging a craggy face can be."

"Did you know that cats can give paw?"

A Chef Never Rests

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

Man Being Chased By Coins.

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

'You do nice work!'

'We don't own a shredder. We just hang sensitive material on the furniture and let the cat take care of it.'

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

Autumn

Agricultural Businessman.

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

King of the Mountain

Bandaged Mummy

Wow... The Performance Enhancing Drug For The Rest Of Us...

"Isn't that cute? She bought herself a little stool to sit on and watch us shred her chairs!"

'I'd say that fall is just around the corner!'

An oxymoron: Cat optimist

Claw Machine

'Outsourcing is getting more challenging.'

"No guilt! This is the price they areed tp pay for a shot at our mercurial affections."