Claw Survivor Gifts

"Did you know that cats can give paw?"

Gary turns 40.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Emergency Pants

'Honey's a real problem for me. Whenever I try to cut back, I just end up binging on campers.'

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

"I see you do all your own stunts."

Sporting maladies.

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

'My battery is dead. How does it end?'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'You've got a broken finger.'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

'What luck!'

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

'Don't they look silly?'

Welcome centre

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

'I'll soon have you in stitches but it's no laughing matter.'

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

A marooned man builds a swing set from his lone palm tree.

'It's an old baseball injury.'