Sea Survivor Gifts

'Thank you for calling the Coast Guard help line. To sink, press one. To swim, press two…'

Man following advice on preventing sea-sickness but becoming sea-sick anyway

'I said, now I know why they call you 'Lucky'!'

'It's a good thing my glasses were washed overboard!'

A holiday maker greets a castaway

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

Lighthouse has energy efficient light bulb.

Emergency Pants

Help! Send fishing tackle!

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"It's a letter from my boss. He says he's not paying me for the time I've been stranded on this island."

Warmer Oceans/Apathy/Green Washing

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

'What luck!'

Last Blue Tuna.

'I wish the different international teams of scientists would agree on a standard tagging system...'

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

Whaling boat with banner 'Save the krill'.

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

'Don't they look silly?'

Welcome centre

'Grandpa stop! That's not a jellyfish! It's a plastic bag!'

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

Deflating Island

"Folsom's seasick, sir."

'Your turn.'

A surf lifesavers' joke.