Shipping Survivor Gifts

Parcel service customers love the online shipment tracking!

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

The full moon frenzy strikes again."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Examinations.

'Look Reg, a ship...we're saved!'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

Biology Revision - Arse / elbow.

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

"The first day of school. Yes sir. A day to make new friends. A day to mark new beginnings. A day to discover everyone but you has grown three feet over the summer."

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'And it's not just me...Ms. Anthrope doesn't seem to like anyone.'

Emergency Pants

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"And to finally break free from the crippling burden of my student loans."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'The only thing I'm sure of is death and taxes and home work.'

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

"Sure I know what it adds up to. It adds up to another 'C' for Eddie Goldbeck."

"It's a letter from my boss. He says he's not paying me for the time I've been stranded on this island."

"Sell my stock in ACME cruise lines, then get me out of here!"

"I don't want to go back to school; other people are my kryptonite."

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

A man with a rake on a desert island

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"Of course I love school...but I love no more cafeteria food more."

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'