Sand Survivor Gifts

'Don't they look silly?'

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

'Good dog Spot. You're always there for me when the sand is hot.'

'Honey, did you bring the anti-nausea pills?'

Emergency Pants

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

"Well, dear, you can quit worrying about our roof!"

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

'What luck!'

"Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating... Recalculating..."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

Welcome centre

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

Offering a golfer a spade.

"I hate sand traps."

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

"Ok, spring...we're REALLY ready for you..."

Women castaways are joined on the island by ugly men.

"Nice try, but I doubt that will be much of a deterrent."

A surf lifesavers' joke.