Island Survivor Gifts

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"I'm just grateful we were able to turn our pants into shorts."

'it's a fund-raising letter from Hillary Clinton.'

'No offense, Frank, but your Facebook posts are getting repetitive.'

'Oh great. All we've got to eat are fish.'

'It's been thirty years, Ralph, You can stop saying 'look at that beautiful sunset','

Inflatable Life Rafts: Change Only

"And I was most disappointed with last sunday's offertory."

'Listen to this Ted. It says here that one of the first signs of insanity is talking to inanimate objects.'

'Well, the good news is, our signal fire seems to have worked...'

'What luck. It's Kosher.'

Man stranded on island selling coconuts. Advertises same location 14 years.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"I dropped my phone in the water. Order some rice."

'You're in luck...I'm gay!'

'This can't be right -- it says George Bush is still President!'

Island rent due.

"You can't pair cabernet with coconut. Throw it back."

"Don't worry I've been a vegan all my adult life, however. . ."

"Damn! – I'm allergic to nuts..."

Man stranded on desert island receives '1001 coconut recipes' book delivered by a drone.

"It's Thanksgiving. What do you want for dinner: roast fish or deep fried fish?"

"Have you been here long?"

"Don't worry. I'm the mother of six. First little problem, and they'll find me."

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

'It's a life jacket! Santa got my note!'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"I said have you had your flu shot?!"

"No, I wasn't concerned about gun control."

"It's from, The Environmental Protection Agency. They're fining us for polluting the ocean with messages in plastic bottles!"

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

"This is the worst trial separation EVER!"

"Yes, I am a mirage. You don't think a doctor would be visiting you on Saturday night when Casualty is on."

"Who is it?"

"I'm sending it express current."