Island Survival Gifts

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

The next few years would be very litigious,

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

Man on desert island with a sail attached to two coconut trees.

"And you're sure we don't need planning permission?"

"What are the bloody chances. . .??"

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

Desert Island Golf

2019 Coconut

'Well, you've been a great companion, Charlie. But you'd better hope we're rescued before Thanksgiving.'

"No, I don't wanna read your damn blog."

"I wish I wasn't a vegetarian. . ."

"It's a message from our computer. It says that its anti-virus software is about to expire, and it needs to be updated. How rude, it doesn't even ask how we're doing."

Sure, throw a message out there, but don't expect anyone to notice.

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

"It's from, The Environmental Protection Agency. They're fining us for polluting the ocean with messages in plastic bottles!"

Hmm...all the best!

'Now go back and get those cases of energy drink.'

Desert island with a high tide line

"Who are you staring at!"

'You know something? This situation isn't nearly as amusing as cartoonists have led us to believe!'

'This is especially rough on me -- I'm a compulsive eater.'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'You had enough power in our cell phone to make one last call, and instead of getting us rescued, you cancel your tee-time?'

Goalkeeper on a desert island.

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

"Hi, J.B. Guess where I am."

Shipwrecked Ventriloquist.

'Don't you think a boat would have been more appropriate?'

'Hi, I'm Ken. Folks say it's best to handle me in small doses.'

Oh great. They're all females and my equipment only uses males.

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

Smoking/Non Smoking Islands.

'I sure hope you're a marriage counselor.'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'