Island Survival Fan Gifts

"Dang. If I'd known help was coming I wouldn't have eaten Ted."

Message in a bottle marked 'return to sender'.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

Emergency Pants

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Tsunami Evac Route

'Oh, that's just great. It's not bad enough I'm stranded here. Now I'm trapped in an invisible box.'

'He needs professional HELP!'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

Shipwrecked Ventriloquist.

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'

After 73 days, the coconut would finally be his.

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

Need tickets.

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"No, I don't wanna read your damn blog."

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

Artificial intelligence trying to make it on its own.

'What luck!'

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

"Now you can send it."