Survival Scenario Fan Gifts

"Ticket and passport, please."

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

Need tickets.

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

Artificial intelligence trying to make it on its own.

"What if I told you that everything you knew about slowly going insane on a desert island was wrong?"

No Loitering

"At least my putting has improved."

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

One Fine Tuesday in Antarctica

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

"When you're voted out of "Survivor", I thought they just sent you home!"

A shark swims into a desert island.

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

"Well yes, mongooses fight cobras, but to be truthful, only when we have to: It's a rather risky business..."

'It's day to day, but so far I've survived,'

'Only one of you will survive to the end of the series.'

Survival Kit

A football is dropped to a man stranded on desert island

Dying man in desert to friend as vultures approach; 'Amazing! I thought they were more or less extinct!'

Eskimo in Igloo

'I'm not criticizing your picks, Gary, I'm just saying maybe they're not the first thing I would have grabbed.'

"It's a pity I'm a vegetarian..."

"I've been as good as I can in a zombie apocalypse."

"Miss Reed, could you please bring me a palm tree and some ragged clothes?"

"Your troubles are nearly over - straight ahead about ten miles."

'Well I'd love to stay and chat, but this is one of those 'get things done' days.'