Survival Skills Fan Gifts

"Well yes, mongooses fight cobras, but to be truthful, only when we have to: It's a rather risky business..."

'Be sure to save room for dessert!'

Desert Island Meals.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Building a Shelter

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Now you can send it."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

Desert Island Mishap

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

'Rubbing sticks together was a great idea. After 40 minutes, I'm so warm I don't need a fire!'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'Straight on, you can't miss it.'

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

Help! Send fishing tackle!