Survival Aficionado Gifts

A dog is crawling towards a toilet in the middle of the desert.

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

On day twenty nine, Dave decided that he would start to cut his way through the dense forest to find out more about the north side of the island.

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

Desert Island Mishap

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'I'll call you Friday, there's a one in seven chance that's the right day of the week.'

Help! Send fishing tackle!

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

"We've got a problem."

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"Look, we're all thirsty. You don't see me whining about it."

"I swear, if you say 'I'm bored' one more time . . . "

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'

'Charlie makes a game of everything.'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'I know you're doing your best, but I'm getting awfully tired of cream of coconut soup.'

"And now Survivor Six...walking through your kid's room barefoot in the dark..."

Shipwrecked.

"Maybe we should follow that guy..."