Jungle Survival Fan Gifts

Denise's obsession with reality television programmes was getting out of hand..

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Dear Diarrhea, Day 84. Well, I'm constipated again today...'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

Desert Island Mishap

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

Jungle Games

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'Not likely - the last time I went in one of those, it sank!'

"Tarzan no want computer."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'Go and hunt for your own lunch. Who do you think I am, Ray Mears?!'

Help! Send fishing tackle!

"It's a 24/7 work culture out there!"

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

tiger strangling snakes

"It looks like a pitch for a survival-themed reality show."

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

'I so wish we had found the shears in the shipwreck...'

Rudyard Kipling

"I swear, if you say 'I'm bored' one more time . . . "

"I'm realizing how useless I'd be in a post apocalyptic world - All I do is draw cartoons."

What? I had to fire our flare gun at him before he fired his flare gun at us!

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

'Wow, that shift almost got us.'