Island Survivalist Gifts

Natural Birth Control.

"Now you can send it."

'Don't worry. I'm a church pastor. First little problem, and they'll find me.'

'You've had a cell phone all these years and you haven't used it because of ROAMING CHARGES?'

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

Castaway stranded on a desert island with only one coconut palm for survival finds a box of coconuts

Tsunami Evac Route

Socially awkward shipwrecks.

'Mom! There you are! Can you do my laundry?'

'Oh, that's just great. It's not bad enough I'm stranded here. Now I'm trapped in an invisible box.'

'You had enough power in our cell phone to make one last call, and instead of getting us rescued, you cancel your tee-time?'

'A passing ship! Quickly, light a signal fire!'

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.

'Now go back and get those cases of energy drink.'

Castaway flooded off of desert island.

"I really don't think it'll help if you address it personally to Oprah!"

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

"Okay, now we just wait for the wind to pick up!"

'Oh, I don't think so. I'm surprised that thing is still afloat!'

Castaway has turned desert island upside down. He says to another man: 'The tree wasn't giving enough shade, OK?'

'Sorry, buddy, but we can't deliver this without postage.'

Shipwrecked with a hoarder.

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

"I've run out of leg wax."

Man stranded on a desert island shakes out palm tree umbrella.

"Nah, I'm good."

"It's another recipe for fish."

"Well, I'm not going to starve-now who's the crazy cat lady?"

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

Emergency Pants

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'He needs professional HELP!'

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'