Island Survivalists Gifts

"I hope that you're not refusing free dental care for ideological reasons."

'Dinner's almost ready, so don't go wandering off.'

"I'd like to announce my candidacy for President of the United States."

'I'm sorry Roland, I'm starving and I'll have to have to eat you...sniff. Roland would have loved those bones.'

"I wish I wasn't a vegetarian. . ."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

Emergency Pants

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Tsunami Evac Route

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

Shipwrecked Ventriloquist.

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

After 73 days, the coconut would finally be his.

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

'What luck!'

'Stop! Wait 'til he finishes cleaning my teeth!'

"Now do you believe me?"

"Well, if you don’t want to discuss exposure, drowning or sharks, what do you want to talk about?"

"No, I don't wanna read your damn blog."

"Now you can send it."

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

Man on desert island with a sail attached to two coconut trees.

'Are you sure this is just a mirage we're crawling through?'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

I survived end of the world after party.