Claw Conqueror T-Shirts

"I should've known if we told him we were going to have him declawed he'd go out with a bang."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

'I'd like a few words with you Farnsworth. Aren't those my shoes you're wearing?'

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

Mountain climber error.

"Did you know that cats can give paw?"

"I'm a rock-climber - I know how challenging a craggy face can be."

Cricket.

A Chef Never Rests

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

Speleologist

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

Man Being Chased By Coins.

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

'You do nice work!'

Autumn

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

Agricultural Businessman.

'We don't own a shredder. We just hang sensitive material on the furniture and let the cat take care of it.'

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

Claw Machine

Bandaged Mummy

"Isn't that cute? She bought herself a little stool to sit on and watch us shred her chairs!"

An oxymoron: Cat optimist

Wow... The Performance Enhancing Drug For The Rest Of Us...

King of the Mountain

'I'd say that fall is just around the corner!'

'Outsourcing is getting more challenging.'

"No guilt! This is the price they areed tp pay for a shot at our mercurial affections."