Kale Conqueror Gifts

"Run, Roslyn! Your kale is out of control!"

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

'Needs more kale.'

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

"These fish quotas are getting ridiculous."

Woman stands on scales, holds bunch of balloons.

How Kale Took Over the World

"Woohoo, we have have overcome the wave!"

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

'Outta my way, you little puke!'

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

"Ha ha, very funny. But seriously … there’s a pub at the top?"

'I want to eat healthy food, but it takes green to eat green.'

A Chef Never Rests

Speleologist

"I just acquired absolute power and you've had it for quite a while now, so tell me... When does the absolute corruption start kicking in?"

"Why, of course I like Kale. It's the color of money."

'E=ma2. E=mb2...'

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

"I have fun-size kale bars for those using recyclable bags."

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

Old man with a zimmer frame grittier

Eric didn't know it yet, but he was about to fall in love with creamed kale.

'Tah-DAH! -- Guess what I conquered!'