Kale Lover Gifts

"I have fun-size kale bars for those using recyclable bags."

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Koala

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

Surfing koala.

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Sperm Whale.

'What are you eating now?'

Japanese Whaling

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

The Dandy

Volcaniax

'They're right.polorized sunglasses do help you see better underwater.'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'Needs more kale.'

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"We did it! Barbeque, bacon, cheese and just a twist of kale!"

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"Don't fillup on plastic, you'll ruin your appetite."

Oregon Eclipse Watching, August 21, 2017

How Kale Took Over the World

"They say your chances of survival are better sitting in the tail section."

'... And I've been meaning to talk to you, about what I found floating in the moat this morning!'

Iceland volcano

'Bearnaise sauce again,' he cried. 'I can't bear the thought of it!'

"How the hell are we supposed to evolve if they keep pushing us back in?!"